Often when I want to determine whether something is possible or, better yet, plausible, I set out to find real life examples of someone achieving it. It can be anything, really and I often end up discovering some really interesting person who has set out to do either exactly what I am attempting or something similar or at least something of interest.
I have ended up spending hours on websites, going down the “rabbit hole” and sometimes ultimately subscribing to a blog, following an IG account or even ordering a book or other product. I doubt I am alone in this.
What motivational memoir books do better than self-help
Self-help books can be a bit to clinical or instructional for me, just laying out a set of rules or instructions which I am already probably aware of. The way we all naturally learn by example when we are growing up – “monkey see, monkey do” style, I think it’s also natural to be influenced by someone writing about what they did. In a memoir, you can sort of pick and choose what you find inspirational and then use that to push you and keep you believing in yourself and your desired outcome.
Even conversationally, I thing it can be much more effective to tell someone a story; an account of something that you did or witnessed that is related to a situation that needs addressing rather than instructing them on what and how they should be improving about themselves or their approach to finding a solution.
Letting people read, watch, consume a story and take what they find helpful or inspiring from it is a way to avoid actual instruction they may not take well, or possibly resent.
The real power of motivational memoir books
Ideally, I find these books more or less accidentally. I stumble on them while searching for something else and they end up being more help to me than whatever I had set out to find in the first place.
A properly written memoir isn’t really offering motivation to the reader, per se, it just sort of happens. It’s similar to learning years or decades down the road that something you said or did had a deep and lasting impact on someone close to you. You had no idea you were setting an example for them or perhaps serving as an unwitting mentor, you were just being you and they happened to look to you as an example. That’s kind of similar to just writing your book, being honest and vulnerable as you share your story, never knowing whether someone might get more from reading it than just a bit of entertainment or means of killing time waiting for a flight or for their dentist to see them.
Why lived experience beats polished advice
Do you think you are a pretty good judge of whether something is real or just some bullshit meant to manipulate you? I believe I am, for the most part. I also believe that the people I would want to open my book and give it a read are capable of knowing real experiences from 271 pages of self-aggrandizement and pablum.
When you read something real, I think you tend to recognize it as such. You connect and empathize or sympathize with the author and that keeps you reading and wanting to learn more about them.
I get this feeling sometimes when I am talking to a respected friend or colleague and I just know we are communicating at a high level. I understand exactly what he is saying and he, in turn, is picking up what I am putting down. It sounds a bit cory, maybe, but I can literally get chills, almost giddy when it happens at a really high level. The same or similar when I really relate to something I am reading and feel like I am learning and benefitting from the book rather than just killing time. Time should be spent, not killed.
Not all motivational memoir books work
Personally, I did not set out to write a motivational memoir. I began my book not really knowing where it would take me or how it would ultimately turn out. I have a tendency toward just doing things because I believe they are worth doing, not really knowing what the outcome will be. That, to me, is the adventure in life; deciding what you want to do with the time you have and putting a bit of faith into each endeavor. Knowing exactly how long something will take and what the result will be isn’t as tempting to me and given my self-diagnosed ADD/ADHD, I often can’t help myself anyway.
Of course, most books in the category were probably drawn up that way and fully intended to take up a specific place in the market, which makes sense to me. It’s just a matter of whether they work, whether they deliver on what is promised in the marketing of them. Naturally, they can’t all work.
Why this category keeps growing
I think substance wins in the end and always will. With AI and suspicion of AI so prevalent, I think authentic missives and anecdotes are going to continue to grow in popularity. Sure, it’s fun to dabble in AI generated images of yourself (I have totally done it) and novel to be able to generate SO much content SO quickly. But at the end of the day anyone can do it and it’s just a sort of parlor trick, not something you can build on or are likely to retain and carry with you for years and decades.
My hope at this point is that Go Big Or Go F*CK Yourself carries that appeal and offers something more to those who read it than a simple distraction. Hell, I have zero control over that now; it’s written and published and I am now left to consider whether I should follow up with another book and, if so, what kind. I can’t wait to see what I do next, but hopefully it’s an improvement on what I have done in the past.
