One evening, over a decade ago, we were just chatting with some friends in our kitchen and I was just in the mood to one up an old expression, to take it to the limit. It got a laugh and I continued to use the expression on occasion.
Fast forward to 2025 when I began creating the outline for the book and trying to settle on a title when it occurred to me that, given the content of my memoir, it would really be the perfect title if not for the profanity and the potential issues that could arise from using the word, even with the asterisk in place of the “U”. However, if I didn’t use the title once I had pondered it, I wouldn’t really be “going big”, would I? I would be a f*cking hypocrite, wouldn’t I? Hell yeah, I would.
Why I Chose a Title That Could Prove Problematic
I guess that is the whole point in a way, isn’t it? “Go Big” implies taking risk and therefore I had yet another reason to use the title. The reasons not to use it were the same as the reasons I absolutely had to use it. I mean, there are a few other books out there with similar titles, like “Unf*ck Yourself”, for example.
Right away, the challenges presented themselves; I didn’t really want to put the name of the book on my LinkedIn profile and telling people I wasn’t close to the name could get dicey. Also, fucking META wouldn’t run ads with the name even in it’s censored form, with the * in the word.
What to do? Adapt, that’s what… Fine, I struck the word and used GBOGFY more than I had planned, at least in the marketing– at least initially. At some point I am hoping to get over that little hump and not need Zuckerberg’s help promoting my tome.
What “Go BIG” Really Means
Don’t shrink away from challenges; believe in yourself and move the plot forward. Long before I ever heard the phrase “Main character energy”, way back when in Waterville, Maine, a friend advised me thusly: “You are the star of your own movie”. Well, I have since taken over directing and producing, too.
Going big is important to do periodically, you know. Not like every day or even every week or month. You tend to know when it’s time to go big. It’s time and you know it; you begin to allow the thoughts to creep in during your waking hours and next thing you know, they invade your dreams. You begin thinking “what if I…” more and more. At some point, it’s go time.
The Real Meaning of “Or Go F*CK Yourself”
Obviously, it is just an expression. It really just means not to bother if you aren’t going to lock in and really go for it. It’s a phrase and nothing more, that is meant to be both humorous and inspiring and to goad you into daring to make a move and make it big.
I got a fair amount of shit after I finally finished writing Go BIG or Go F*CK Yourself and had a fucking heart attack less than two weeks later. I suppose perhaps it’s ironic or maybe it’s FAFO, but whatever; I survived and if nothing else, you know I wasn’t just blowing smoke 🙂
There is, apparently, a time to NOT go BIG. Like with salt, alcohol, processed sugar, cigars…
Why Some People Never Go Big
It’s fucking scary to take a big leap and most people don’t really need to do it. Or, perhaps they tell themselves that. I do believe it’s more important for some personality types than it is for others, for sure. I don’t, I can’t speak for anyone else and I don’t even have the slightest clue what percentage of the population has itches they’re afraid to scratch vs. those with really good “skin” and zero spiritual allergies or irritants. I don’t know who needs to hear or read this, but I am just putting out there, regardless.
Why I Wrote This Book—and Who It’s For
I know somehow, deep down, that there is a subset of the 7 billlion people in this world who would find this book somehow entertaining, useful, inspiring, funny or just some shit they read one time and thought it was pretty good. Naturally, there are going to be those who think it’s garbage, too. It’s not like I am a real writer, afterall.
I wanted to share my stories; at least a handful of them. That’s reason enough, I think. I don’t think I would have enjoyed the process or felt as good about the resulting manuscript had I written it in m 30’s. I also wouldn’t have as much material. But I also believe you can’t be writing it for anyone else for it to come out naturally, as it should. The older I get the less I do anything to please others. In my experience, the stuff I do for the sake of process, learning, anything but pandering– that stuff is more likely to be worthwhile.
Going “big” is something different to everyone but whatever it means to you, if you do it… if you take a big swing and some shit happens that wouldn’t have otherwise happened and especially if it’s something really good… you will probably find yourself doing it again and again.
